My underwear smells like fireworks.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
