is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
