I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Houston, we have a blender
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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