I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
