Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
two words: eviction party
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When are your genitals available?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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