I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize