took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
