Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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