There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
