another moral hangover. fuck.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
