but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
