Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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