You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
