DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
