Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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