Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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