We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
