also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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