At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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