Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
