i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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