Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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