I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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