He is such a slut. More and more my type.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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