She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
