i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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