u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My bed smells like the plague
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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