what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
