I want to make a zoo with you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
