i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
