the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
