Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
