I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
