just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
