My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ok first of all what the fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
