i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
