he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
