I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
