went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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