I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize