I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize