weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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