I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
