I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
