Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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