i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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