After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize