WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
