I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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