I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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