Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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