I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
