i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
