I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
