By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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