do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
