I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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