does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
