um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
