just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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