I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
