you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
