Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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