is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
